Spring 2000 Internet Yard Sale, Lot #2

More Splendid Items from the Toolshed, Attic, Garage, and Basement!

My payment policy: No personal checks! Send cash or postal money orders only upon my notifying you of your successful purchase. Actual shipping charges will be paid by the purchaser. And be sure you really want the item(s), because there are

NO REFUNDS and NO RETURNS!!!

NOTE! Items listed here and in Lot #1 that do not sell by June 1, 2000, will wind up at my
~~~Huge Spring Yard Sale~~~

Hundreds of Items!

Saturday, June 3, 2000
45 Clinton Street
Centerboro, New York

No Early Birds!!! I mean it. You will not get a friendly reception!

 

THE frying pan. Very heavy! My doctor said that it is high time I get rid of this object as there is no good use and a great deal of harm in my continuing to dwell obsessively upon its role in my life. Yes, this is the frying pan that I was bashed over the head with in an encounter described in Freddy Goes Camping. I went back to Camphor's campsite later and appropriated it and certain other objects for evidence should I ever have decided to press charges against my assailants--which, unfortunately, I never did before the statute of limitations expired. Proceeds from the sale of this fantastic item will be applied toward my outrageous monthly prescription bills. I'm certain that any true Freddyite collector will treasure this keepsake of the series. It will move quickly at

$500.00

Ooooops! Almost perfect business card Here is your chance to be of service to mankind by helping to promulgate "The Truth." I will send 100 of my new business cards (secured with a nice fresh red rubber band) to each of the first fifteen folks who request them. I am making them available absolutely free owing to a slight design error which got past the EHA Industries editor-in-chief. "Centerboro" was left out of the address, but you can easily pencil it in and then strategically place the cards in hotel lobbies, mass transportation terminals, lunch counters, supermarket bulletin boards, waiting rooms, etc. I thank you in advance for your interest in participating in my campaign.

(Sorry. Supply has been depleted.)

Old baseball card My father was a Sovereign cigarette smoker, and he collected the baseball cards that came with this long-defunct brand. I thought I had thrown this card of his out a couple of years ago while cleaning out some of his stuff we had stored in my toolshed when he moved into the home. But it turned up in an envelope I ran across the other day, so I guess it didn't get tossed after all. It's a pretty old card, but it's in excellent shape, and I guess a fan of Freddy and the Baseball Team from Mars might want it as a bookmark and be willing to fork over

$10.00
(Sold) 

Goodbye, Kitty!

So Long, salt and pepper shakers!

Mrs. U. says I absolutely must sell off these items because they scare her. What we have here would appeal to any fan of Jinx! First, take a gander at the very keen black cat Hallowe'en decoration which I hung in one of my front windows every October 31 for many years. It's still in great, though not perfect shape! Next, we have a beautiful salt and pepper shaker set which I'd set out just once a year for my birthday party. For the lot, I propose a self-insulting price of

$249.99
  
(Sold)

Old juke box, front
Front View

Old juke box, back
Back View

This is the Model P10 Wurlitzer juke box which had been in Dixon Diner's since the mid-'30s. I obtained it when I helped Mr. Dixon sell his business. The walnut cabinet is in better than good condition, but the box is, alas, not working. It appears to have all the parts, and I do know that the tubes are still good. Here's your chance to renovate a real gem and spin those old 78s for only

$2950.00
(Shipping charges will be extra and hefty!)
(Sold)  

Autographed Ignormus

I received a large number of e-mails from disappointed Freddyites who were not quick enough to obtain the autographed Freddy the Pilot in Lot #1. Ordinarily I would say, "Tough luck and poop-poop-a-doop!" However, I am offering an unpreviewed, not-previously-announced 1945 autographed Ignormus so that everyone will feel he or she has had an equal chance at what I consider a relatively insignificant item. This book is in what I would describe as B+ condition, but the signature is a truly fine one. This might be the last signed Freddy book I will ever offer. So, Freddyites, here's your fair and perhaps final opportunity to obtain a Grail of the Freddyverse! Hurry before this item slips through your fingers at a most reasonable

$2.00
(Sold)

Wow! Incredible! A Centerboro pennant Although this splendid felt pennant is about 50 years old, it's still in mint condition except for a few virtually unnoticeable thumbtack holes. Could any enthusiast of the Freddy series resist this fabulous memento from the end of Centerboro's golden age? No, sir, so you'd better hurry, because I can already hear the frenzied rush to snap this article up for

$314.16
(Sold)

Sinclair NY mapGulf NY map These two roadmaps are sure to attract the interest of Freddyites who tell me that they simply cannot find that "good map" I've said would be necessary to locate Centerboro, New York. Well, these old Sinclair and Gulf maps will do the trick very nicely. The maps have been used and cannot be considered of "collectible" grade. And although neither of them shows the New York State Thruway, which hadn't been built when they were printed, Centerboro is easily found in each. For this useful and especially charming pair of maps, I ask

$10.00
(Sold)

How can you resist??? This curious item is certain to cause my mailbox to become quite clogged with inquiries once the Freddyites get wind of it, so if you really want it, you'd better get the lead out! I found it in one of the Bean family scrapbooks I rescued from the big fire, and I believe it to have belonged to Freddy himself, as his name is childishly scrawled on the inside cover of this cereal premium from 1932, a 5" X 7" 16-page booklet given away by Post Cereals. Is it more than just a coincidence that Freddy the Detective was published in 1932? Beats me! In any case, I think this incredible find is worth every single penny of

$599.99
(Sold)

A glass eye. Pretty weird! A slightly macabre item to be sure, this must be the glass eye referred to as having been found in the garden by Mr. Bean (Pilot, p. 105). I noticed it in a cigar box full of odds and ends at the Bean farm "fire"sale, and, for some unfathomable reason, I bought it from William, who had employed it as a good luck piece, for a couple of bucks. Probably the strangest Freddy collectible you're ever likely to see, it's going to be plucked quickly for what I believe it might be worth now as a specimen of Freddiana:

$456.78
(Sold)

My kinda guy!You'll be dancin' and jivin'!

And lastly, here are a couple of little things from my extensive Martian collection of over 2000 items which I am beginning to sell off because (1) my doctor says I have to and (2) I have to spend an exaggerated amount of time dusting it all anyway. If you have to ask whose autographed picture that is, you don't really need it. The "Martian Hop" is quite lively, but the tune will lodge itself inextricably in your consciousness for several days, so I do not recommend that you play it very often, especially after imbibing an excess of caffeine or just before bedtime. You may take either of these collectibles for

$75.00 or both for $149.99!
(Sold)

 

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