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Number 30, the post-ultimate picture page

I might put this up for sale at the next FoF convention!
You see here Freddy's undeserved letter in football, a piece of Bean family memorabilia I rescued during the big fire at their farm. As I have mentioned before, Freddy's high school football career abruptly ended after his disgraceful and unsportsmanlike conduct upon the gridiron during a game with Tushville. Although he had been awarded a varsity letter the year before, Freddy was forbidden by the Board of Education to wear it on school property or at any school event. I believe this was one of the factors that precipitated his dropping out of high school before graduation--this and his humiliating dismissal from the team. More information about this series of events can be found on The Ultimate Picture Page.
A Biro illustration? Who's Biro?
This is no (still unsolved) mystery Freddy illustration like the one displayed on Picture Page 10. It is a seldom seen illustration done by a Mr. Biro for a non-Knopf edition of one of the published Freddy titles. This particular image has been floating around on my hard drive for some time now, but I do not remember where I found it to begin with or when. I can certainly guess in what chapter in what book it appears, though, and I'll bet you can, too! Go ahead--it's easy enough! Give it a try! If you can't figure it out, don't bother me. I'm too busy with my emergency evacuation plans to answer. Ask one of the many Freddyite mavens at the Freddy maillist.
The Centerboro post office
This is an old Centerboro landmark, the post office from which I mailed many, many epistles to important scientists, so-called world leaders, newspapers, magazines, journals, networks, civic organizations, and other individuals and conglomerates of all types. Though the volume of my correspondence was prodigious, it was mostly one-way. I guess my theories, opinions, and commentaries were too sophisticated or ahead of their time to be recognized for their worth--especially my warnings about the Martians' meddling in earthly affairs. When the Martian expeditionary forces arrive, no one will be able to say that I didn't warn the world!
The Oteseraga County Custodial Asylum
A wonderful stereoscopic view of the Oteseraga County Custodial Asylum where Benjamin Bean wound up for his own good and the safety of others more than once. There is another view of the place on Picture Page 8. I hear that there was a special wing for wealthy clients from all over the Northeast, but I put no stock in such stories. By the way, there is no truth to the rumor that I was a client of this establishment!

Central Centerboro in 1882

The top map here depicts an area of central Centerboro way, way back in 1882. I thought you might be interested in comparing some of the features here with other views of Centerboro I've published here and there on this site. I have placed an "X" at the intersection of Main and Herkimer, and if you were to travel from the "X" toward the upper left corner of the picture, you'd be heading WSW toward Rome, NY. The bottom map goes even father back to 1866, by which time Centerboro's basic form had been pretty well established. "X" marks the same spot as it does in the 1882 map.

Henry Weezer, Bank President

It's amazing that this fellow still has his glasses on--at least according to the story in the Freddy books! Yes, this is none other than Henry Weezer, the manager of the biggest bank in Oteseraga county, sitting in a basement vault behind a pile of bags of silver coins. Considering his cartoonish characterization in the Freddy books, I believe his accidental death to be among the most peculiar of all those listed in the Centerboro and Oteseraga necrology in FAQ 27, though many causes of death listed there are uncannily ironic.

Not for sale at any price!

Another artifact of the Martian visitation to upstate New York, this weapon was presented to me by Two-Clicks himself upon his departure from our execrable planet in 1955. I have secreted it in my toolshed, broom closet, basement, and attic since then to keep it out of the clutches of the government and other institutions that could never be trusted with it, and it remains in mint condition despite exposure to the many different types of environmental stress in these areas. Like the other Martian weapon displayed on my site, it is scaled to the Martian frame and is about 1 foot in length--however, it is in working condition and work it does! I took it up to the Big Woods once and knocked over a 60-foot dead oak tree, roots and all, with one blast!

Centerboro Clippers Score Book from 1955
Isn't this just about the keenest baseball score book you've ever seen? It is the "Official Clipper Score Book" for 1955. The Clippers were, as you well know, the Centerboro baseball team which, with the help of the Martians, defeated the Tushville team on May 28, 1955. (See also a related item--the commemorative plaque in FAQ #29.) The interesting thing about this particular score book is that it features a picture of Francine Margarine, "Miss Clipper of 1955." You will no doubt remember that Miss Margarine was the winner of the Miss Flying Saucer 1955 contest on May 26--much to the dismay and lasting disgruntlement of Priscilla Belette, the first runner-up. For more information on that affair, you may peruse the first interview I conducted with Miss Belette many years later.



Location of Otseraga County

Since I first published a primitive edition of Mr. Eha's Place years ago, I have received many queries and complaints relating to the location of Centerboro on available maps. When are you folks going to learn?! For the very last time I will state the obvious: You have to be looking at the right maps! Here's what I mean. If you possessed this copy of the Farm Register for Oteseraga County from the early 1900s, you'd not only be able to "place" Centerboro, but you'd also find William and Martha's farm listed along with a brief description of its acreage, livestock, and crops. Other farms of note would include the Schermerhorn, Macy, and Hall operations--all of which are mentioned in the Freddy books.

Some of you profess to be unable even to locate Oteseraga County itself on a New York State map. Again, you need only have the right map. Good grief! On the second map, "X" marks the spot! Oteseraga County is surrounded by Lewis, Hamilton, Fulton, Herkimer, and Oneida counties. Check FAQ #22 for a more detailed map of New York State counties. I hope this puts to rest all remaining questions about where the Freddy series is set, for this is my final attempt to set you straight.

Since I have two copies of the farm register, I will make one copy available to the first person who requests it by E-mail for $10.00 cash. (Sold)

Labor Day parade, 1924

Here's a photo of downtown Centerboro on Labor Day, 1924. You can see some Oteseraga County citizens (and possibly some of their out-of-town guests) parading along Main Street as if dressed as they were was quite the thing to do to celebrate the day of the working man. This fraternal organization did not enjoy much widespread popularity or toleration in our community, which you can discern for yourself based on the smallness of its numbers--or at least the number of those who would actually appear in public in "dress uniform." I include this photo here lest any of you think that the real town of Centerboro was the bucolic utopia depicted in the Freddy books. (See also the Socialist Farmers' Union Labor Day float on Picture Page 27 for another example of the farther-out elements of Centerboro society in action.)

Little Giant Pocket Radio

You just don't see too many of these around anymore, do you? Most of you won't even know what it is at first glance. This is my "Little Giant" crystal radio. Why would I put a picture of this item here? Why, in answer to another question I am asked much too frequently; i.e., "How do I get in touch with the Martians?" I have already made a few suggestions on this site as to how one might do this, so I won't go into the details again here. However, it might interest you to know how and when I myself first became aware of the Martian presence--many years before their visitation to Centerboro. It was in the early 1930s when I was but a lad that I heard in the hissing and sputtering I picked up on my "Little Giant" the first intimations of an alien presence here on Earth. I was able to determine in the clicks, squeaks, whistles, and pops certain distinctive patterns which could be described only as the indecipherable communications of an otherworldly intelligence. Knowing what I know today, it must have been the Martians as there is little convincing evidence of any other extraterrestrial life. Since you don't have one of these old radios which seem so particularly good at picking up Martian transmissions, here's something else you can try. This technique seems to work for some of my colleagues. Switch your television set to an empty channel, turn the sound way up, and press your ear to the screen for, oh, I'd say maybe half an hour or so. Believe me, after about ten minutes you will begin to hear rhythmic acoustic patterns, too--some of which are sure to be Martians chatting about their plan to reduce the earth to a habitat suitable for bacteria only.

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