Hallowthanxmas™ 2017
Is Right Around the Corner!

Don't wait for Black November or Cyber Monday 2017!
Get a hoppin' and start your 2017 Hallowthanxmas™ shoppin' P-R-O-N-T-O!

 

 

WE KNOW you're tired of the Disappointment, Depression, Desolation, and Despair of the traditional so-called "holidays" and all their phantasmagorical expectations and excesses!

WE KNOW you want your home to reflect your discriminating taste and refined style!

WE KNOW you're a patriotic shopper who demands to be an integral part of ever-increasing sales figures and profits and the inevitable trickle down benefits percolating throughout the economy and into every single home in the USA!

AND THAT'S WHY since 2001 the brilliant masterminds of the world-famous Department of Conceptual Engineering at EHA Industries, Inc. have brought you ever-increasing improvements to the original jumbo, GIANT-SIZED, all-American luxury holiday season known all over the world as Hallowthanxmas™!

And now that special extra-deluxe blend of the very best of
Hallowe'en, Thanksgiving, and Christmas
is 175% better!!!

Make your first 2017 Hallowthanxmas™ purchase an officially licensed Thanx-a-Baum™ from the latest production runs of this amazing, built-to-last, all-synthetic, assembled-in-America tree-like module!*

Once again, the Thanx-a-Baum™ is available in the "Large" (3.5'), "Extra-Large" (4'), "Super-Sized" (4.5'), "Ultra-Huge" (5'), "Colossal Deluxe" (5.5'), "Juggernaut Ceiling-Scraper", and the awe-inspiring "Roof Buster" models.** For those of you with limited display space, we offer the astounding pre-ornamented Table-Top-a-Baum™ (2') in a variety of festive, hand-applied colors!**

But no matter which Thanx-a-Baum™ model you choose, it will be permanently etched with its very own unique registration number and conditionally guaranteed not to oxidize or combust spontaneously for the lifetime of its original owner! ***

And don't forget to "top off" your standard model with our improved 2017 self-illuminating Thanx-a-Baum-a-Topper, now featuring exclusive built-in ionizing radiation reduction technology!

The Thanx-a-Baum Ultra-Huge Standard Model
Improved 2017 Self-illuminating Thanx-a-Baum-a-Topper
Limited Space? No problem!
Buy the compact and convenient
Pre-Ornamented Table-Top-a-Baum
!
Thanx-a-Baum

(Actual products will differ in appearance from photos above. "Wow!" is not included with Standard Models.)

New for 2017!
A truly awesome way

to brighten up your holidays!

The All-New & Improved
Thanx-a-Baum-a-Luminator™
The Perfect Thanx-a-Baum Accessory!
(Requires 220 Volt Connection.
Installation by licensed electrician recommended.)

But wait! Is it possible? Yes! There's much more! Get ready to positively bask in the pride of ownership of superior creations from our elegant and colorful **** 2017 Thanx-a-Dex™ ornamental masterpieces.

Each richly-detailed ornament has been carefully crafted from the highest quality proprietary materials to attach effortlessly to the Thanx-a-Baum™ standard modules. Not only you, but generations of your successors will enjoy handing down these charming limited edition, hand-detailed, heirloom collectibles for years to come. *****

Each decoration comes with its own handsome and framable "Certificate of Registration in Perpetuity" imprinted upon parchment-like paper, and each decoration is protected by its own polychromatic, reusable, and virtually indestructible blister package.

We have many vintage favorites and dozens of brand-new, exclusive and exquisite designs available this year!

2017 Thanx-a-Dex™ Sampler
Puffy Vampyr
Brachycephalic Bobby
Santy Spikester
Whimsical Whistler
Puffy Vampyr
Brachycephalic Bobby
Santy Spikester
Whimsical Whistler
(Requires 1 AAA battery, not incl.)
Da Bomb!
Barnwood Barney
Cute Li'l Demon Dolly
Eeeek! A 'Pider
Thanx-a-Bomb
Barnwood Barney
Cute Li'l' Demon Dolly
Eeeek! A 'Pider!
(Requires live spider, not incl.)
Tip-top Taper
Glistenin' Gobbler
Roly-Poly Mephisto
Christmas Curlers

Tip-Top Taper

Glistenin' Gobbler
(Plastic construction. Do Not Eat.)
Roly-Poly Mephisto
Kristmas Kurlers
Ahoy There, Matey Hubert the Hallowthanxmas Hedgehog Jolly Jellyfish
(Available in red, green, and orange)
Meowin' Bob-a-Kitty
(Requires AAA battery, not incl.)

And that's not all!

Warehouse Overstock Clearance Event!
Brand-New Hallowthanxmas™ Ornaments
(Limited quantities at few locations. Items are in original packaging.
Images are not representative of the actual dimensions of ornaments.)

.
Jack O'Bonkers
SOLD OUT
Edible Melty Snowman
(Do not eat if purchased after 2002)
Red-Shifted Ecto-Elf Frankenclaus
SOLD OUT



Jack O'Bonkers



Edible Melting Snowman


EctoElf

Frankenclaus
.
Siamese Santas
SOLD OUT
Yule Poke Yer Eye Out!
SOLD OUT
Natty Bitin' Kitty Kat Screamin' Songsters

Siamese Santa

Be Careful, Kid!

Bitty Kitty

Screaming Songsters
.
Speckled Glowman (Requires 1 AA battery, not incl.)
Only 2 left!
Psychedelic Santy
(Requires 2 AAA batteries, not incl.)
SOLD OUT
Thlumpy Thnowman Magical DIY Spheroid
(Felt-tipped markers not incl.)
SOLD OUT

Speckled Glowman

Psychedelic Santy



Thlumpy Thnowman

Magical DIY
.
Icky Happy Carp
SOLD OUT
Pink 'n' Blue Shuggoth
SOLD OUT
Razor Sharpy Star
(Illegal in some states)
SOLD OUT
(Fuzzy Fun)3

Happy Carp

Pink 'n' Blue Shuggoth


Razor Sharpy Star


Furry Fun Cubed
.
Whoa! There's still more!!!
Super Special Refurb Sale
from our exclusive Heritage Collections!
Beloved onaments expertly restored by our own skilled technicians!

(Limited quantities at some locations.
Images are not representative of the actual dimensions of ornaments.
No returns or exchanges.)
Radiant Tinselman
Holiday Blast
Ancient Totem Head
Eha Theme Special
Radiant Tinselman (Requires 9V battery, not incl.)
SOLD OUT
Holiday Blast
(Will not actually detonate)
Ancient Totem Head
SOLD OUT
EHA Theme Special
Hootful the Owl
Black Lite Alien Octopod
Illuminated Bristlecone
Wild Blue Warthog
Hootful the Owl
(Requires 9V battery, not incl.)
Black Lite Alien Octopod
SOLD OUT
Lumi-Bristlecone
Wild Blue Warthog
SOLD OUT
Heavy Duty Fry Pan Pesty the Horsefly Stabby Wreath Spiny Polyhedron
Heavy Duty Fry Pan
SOLD OUT
Pesty the Buzzin' Horsefly
(Requires AAA battery, not incl.)
Stabby Wreath
SOLD OUT
Spiny Polyhedron
The Fab Brick Turkey
Mashed Mars
Scorchin' Santa II and Atomic Glow ClownAtomic Glow Clown
(Sold in pairs only. No batteries required.)
The "Fab Brick" Turkey
Only 1 left!
Mashed Mars
SOLD OUT
Scorchin' Santa II & Atomic Glow Clown ******
SOLD OUT
L'il Black Lite Ducky Ride 'em Porky Atomic #13 Pumpkin Non-Radioactive Lumi-Bell
L'il' Black Lite Duckie Ride 'em Porky!
(w/ brand new winding mechanism)
SOLD OUT
Atomic #13 Pumpkin
SOLD OUT
Non-Radioactive Lumi-Bell

Yes! You can be the envy of your family, friends, and neighbors when you beautify your home with our tastefully charming, exclusively alluring line of Hallowthanxmas™ collectibles! *******

But don't wait like you did last year, by golly! Get shopping RIGHT NOW before the super-seasonal miracle of Hallowthanxmas™ 2017 vanishes from the aisles of your local department stores, drugstores, and supermarkets!

But hold on! There's even more!

Don't forget to stock up on Thanx-a-Cards™! In the joyous and generous spirit of this EHA Industries, Inc. trademarked season, go right ahead and download these magnificent, hand-designed cards to e-mail to your friends and relatives completely free of charge! ********Just be sure to mention you got them right here at Mr. Eha's Place!

Remember, "Others imitate, but the original Hallowthanxmas™ is still the finest!"


General Information About Hallowthanxmas™ Products *********
(This notice supersedes all previous notices.)

If you cannot read or comprehend this information, do not purchase or expose yourself to Hallowthanxmas™ products. If you do not have adequate medical insurance and access to immediate emergency medical care, do not purchase or expose yourself to Hallowthanxmas™ products. If your annual radiation dose exceeds 20 mSv, it is recommended that you do not store your Hallowthanxmas™ products on site. Use all Hallowthanxmas™ products at your own risk, only as directed, and with extreme caution. Thanx-a-Baum™, Table-Top-a-Baum™, Thanx-a-Dex™, and Thanx-a-Card™ products are not necessarily unsafe when handled following all procedures and guidelines detailed in the separately purchased "Complete Installation Directions and Safety Issues" DVD. Thanx-a-Baum™, Thanx-a-Dex™, and Thanx-a-Card™ products are not toys and are designed and intended for use by responsible adults only.

Avoid drinking any fluids containing alcohol, artificial sweeteners, or artificial colors for a minimum of one day before and after installation of your Thanx-a-Baum, Table-Top-a-Baum, and Thanx-a-Dex products. If you have undergone any procedure(s) involving high-resolution body imaging including but not limited to CAT scans or MRIs during the previous year, do not come into close proximity to Hallowthanxmas products; the same warning applies if you have undergone more than one dental-related x-ray imaging (also known as "pictures" as in "It's been a while since you've had pictures.") procedure. Always use the dustmask, coveralls, and disposable gloves included with your Thanx-a-Baum and Table-Top-a-Baum for unpacking, installation, and disassembly. If you have open wounds or sores on your face or scalp, wear a thermoplastic face shield (not supplied) and a suitable head covering (not supplied) during unpacking, installation, and disassembly. Unpack your new Thanx-a-Baum or Table-Top-a-Baum outdoors. Use a pressure washer to thoroughly rinse the unpacked unit, and allow it to dry and air out for at least one week before bringing indoors. Always install your Thanx-a-Baum and/or Table-Top-a-Baum in a well-ventilated room at least five feet from heat sources and electrical outlets and appliances. Before you begin installation of your Thanx-a-Baum or Table-Top-a-Baum, completely enclose the work area with 12.0 mil heavy-duty plastic sheets (not included). Do not allow the Thanx-a-Baum or Table-Top-a-Baum to come into direct contact with skin and/or mucous membranes before, during, or after installation. If your eyes become irritated during installation, remove gloves before flushing eyes for a minimum of five minutes with cold water. Always put on a new pair of gloves before resuming installation. After installation, do not climb on the Thanx-a-Baum. Do not make adjustments to the installed Thanx-a-Baum or Table-Top-a-Baum without wearing disposable gloves. After adjustments, dispose of gloves immediately. Do not reuse. The coveralls supplied with your Thanx-a-Baum may be reused. Wash them separately from any other clothing. Use cold water and unscented detergent on the regular wash cycle. Do not use bleach. Hang outside to dry. Do not place in an electric or gas dryer. The dustmask may be reused up to three times following a thorough rinsing after each use. Do not lie down, nap, or sleep for at least two full hours after handling any Hallowthanxmas products. Do not drive or operate heavy equipment for 24 hours after handling Hallowthanxmas products.

Do not place electronic devices including train sets directly under your installed Thanx-a-Baum or Table-Top-a-Baum. Do not place tinsel or electrical lights on the Thanx-a-Baum or Table-Top-a-Baum. Do not use the Thanx-a-Baum or Table-Top-a-Baum as an antenna or drying rack. Children under the age of twelve, the elderly, and mammal and avian pets should not remain in close proximity to the Thanx-a-Baum or Table-Top-a-Baum for periods exceeding fifteen minutes. Do not nap within a radius of ten feet of the Thanx-a-Baum or Table-Top-a-Baum. While Thanx-a-Baum or Table-Top-a-Baum units are capable of significantly raising melanin levels, do not use them as tanning devices. Thanx-a-Dex components present a choking hazard. If Thanx-a-Dex products begin to peel or flake, dispose of them at once following local ordinances for hazardous waste containment. Do not handle Thanx-a-Dex components without gloves. Under no circumstances should you wear any Thanx-a-Dex components, especially "Scorchin' Santa II" and "Atomic Glow Clown." If your Thanx-a-Baum-a-Luminator begins to vibrate, hum loudly, or emit smoke, immediately disconnect it from its power source and allow it to cool to room temperature before moving it to an outdoor location. Do not stare directly into the Thanx-a-Baum-a-Luminator.Only qualified electricians should attempt to make repairs to the Thanx-a-Baum-a-Luminator.

Thanx-a-Card products are not edible. In case of accidental ingestion, do not induce vomiting. Report to the nearest hospital emergency room or poison control center immediately. Do not include Thanx-a-Card products in recycling. Cards may be placed in your ordinary trash. If you shred Thanx-a-Card products prior to disposal, wear a dust mask for protection against airborne particles and clean the shredder blades and basket thoroughly afterwards. Under no circumstances should you deliberately produce and then concentrate and inhale Thanx-a-Card particles. Do not write upon Thanx-a-Cards with any implement whose ink contains volatile chemicals. Possible health risks owing to the use of graphite pencils with Thanx-a-Cards have not been established. Crayons and carbon-alumina chalk blend pencils have been found relatively safe to use. Do not alter Thanx-a-Cards for use in projects such as scrapbooking, collages, or papier-mâché constructions!

It is strongly recommended that you do not leave your fully assembled Thanx-a-Baum and/or Table-Top-a-Baum up for more than seventy-two hours. When they are not in use, carefully seal all Hallowthanxmas products in their original packages and store them in a cool, dry place out of the reach of minors or pets and well away from air ducts and vents. If you anticipate a cumulative radiation dose exceeding 20 mSv during the coming year, store your Hallowthanxmas products in a well-ventilated off-site location. Wear dust mask, coveralls, and gloves during the process of disassembly and storage. Follow all procedures detailed in the "Complete Installation Directions and Safety Issues" DVD which may be purchased for $24.95. A rebate of 50% of the price of the installation DVD may be claimed upon your furnishing evidence of having purchased ten (10) or more Thanx-a-Dex modules.


Critical Medical Information and Disclosures

Always talk to your doctor/prescriber/healthcare provider before purchasing Hallowthanxmas products! The EHA Industries legal department recommends that you obtain a thorough physical examination and complete review of your medical history and current prescriptions from a highly qualified physician before making your first Hallowthanxmas product purchase or exposing yourself to such products. Deliberate or inadvertent failure to do so will significantly increase the likelihood of your experiencing mild to severe side effects from handling Hallowthanxmas products.

Under no circumstances should you purchase and/or touch Hallowthanxmas products if you cannot reach above your head and/or open and close both hands easily; have consumed smoked meat in the month prior to exposure; have a history of abusing nonprescription, prescription, or street drugs; have a history of alcohol addiction; donated a kidney or been on dialysis; used or are using tobacco in any form whatsoever; used or are using any smoking cessation drug whatsoever; intend to father a child, become pregnant, or are breastfeeding; experienced any of the following conditions: asthma, respiratory allergies, overactive thyroid, underactive thyroid, poor bladder control, chronic constipation, cardiovascular disease, heart failure, arteriosclerosis, hypertension, liver or kidney disease, sleep apnea, cancer, angioedema, epilepsy, diabetes, glaucoma, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis, dementia, any type of fungal infection, any psychotic disorder, manic depression, myasthenia gravis, sleep apnea, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, or more than two moderate to severe sunburns in your lifetime; are currently taking prescription drugs that are advertised on television or that are the subject of full-page information bulletins in magazines, newspapers, or other print media.

Common side effects associated with near-proximity to and/or physical contact with the Thanx-a-Baum, Table-Top-a-Baum, Thanx-a-Dex modules, and Thanx-a-Cards include, but are not limited to: festering sores, blistering of skin and mucous membranes, second and third degree burns, unsightly canker sores, patchy hair loss, swelling of the nose, hives, bone loss, low-grade fever, nausea, loss of coordination, vertigo, blurred vision, temporary loss of vision, sensitivity to light, world-class headaches, spinning sensations, heebie-jeebies, yellowing of the skin or whites of the eye, lumpy growths on head, dry mouth, bloody sputum, sore throat, hoarseness, drooling, changes in the taste of food and drink, tachycardia, flu-like symptoms, nosebleeds, sleeplessness, drowsiness, burning or painful sensations during elimination (both #1 and #2), no sensations during elimination (both #1 and #2), toxic epidermal necrolysis, permanent erosion of the esophagus, anaphylactic shock, muscle weakness, fine and gross tremors, "Shifty Eye" Syndrome, shallow breathing, convulsions, substernal chest pain, bloating, flatulence, leg cramps, numbness and/or tingling in extremities, tinnitus, dysphagia, the jitters, immense goiter-like growths, edema of tongue, bloody urine, renal failure, intestinal bleeding, spastic bowel, bloody stools, black stools, clay-colored stools, tarry stools, "Pellet Poop" Syndrome, hot flashes, desiccated prostate, irreversible erectile dysfunction, dysmenorrhea, persistent yeast infections, trouble concentrating, impulsivity, difficulty distinguishing between wants and needs, non-stop hand wringing, laughing at extremely unfunny things, vague feelings of uneasiness, not-so-vague feelings of uneasiness, impressions that things are not quite right, aggressiveness or overt hostility, murderous rages, strange dreams or vivid nightmares, compulsive counting, urge to spell words on signs backwards, obsession with intractable mathematical problems, unpleasant hallucinations, repetitive tying and untying of knots, panic attacks, confusion, apathy, echolalia, incessant blabbing, thoughts of hurting yourself or (especially) others, increased risk-taking behaviors, depersonalization, suicidal thoughts, and mild to moderate depression. In certain instances, tuberculosis, stroke, primary CNS lymphoma, Stevens-Johnson Syndrome, Tourette's-like tics, bleeding lungs, blindness, grand mal seizures, persistent thoughts of persecution, aggravation of pre-existing ADHD, suicide, and non-self-induced death have been associated with exposure to Hallowthanxmas products. In two instances, the development of tadpole-like caudal appendages following exposure to Atomic Glow Clown have been recorded. This is not a complete list of side effects. Physical contact with and/or near proximity to Thanx-a-Baum standard models, Table-Top-a-Baum, Thanx-a-Dex ornamental modules, and Thanx-a-Cards is likely to produce numerous mild to fatal side effects other than those listed here.


Enjoy Hallowthanxmas
™ products responsibly!

° This webpage exists for informational and instructional purposes only and should not be understood or interpreted as an invitation, inducement, or encouragement to purchase and/or install and/or place oneself or others in the physical presence of Hallowthanxmas™ products. EHA Industries assumes no responsibility or liability for the use, misuse, interpretation, or misinterpretation of information contained in the "Happy Hallowthanxmas!" web page and the "Complete Installation Directions and Safety Issues" VHS tape or DVD. Eha Industries assumes absolutely no responsibility and/or liability for the use or accidental or deliberate misuse of Hallowthanxmas™ products.

* Thanx-a-Baum units are shipped unassembled. Assembly required. You will need to furnish your own dosimeter, heavy-duty plastic sheets, box cutter, pressure washer, plumb bob and string, wrench set, adjustable pliers, hacksaw, glue gun, duct tape, soldering equipment, pipe cleaners, five gallon plastic pail, quick-set concrete, telescoping inspection mirror, and emergency first aid kit. A thermoplastic face shield may be required as well.

** Juggernaut Ceiling Scraper unit will not actually reach ceiling height in the case that floor to ceiling clearance is in excess of 6 feet. Roof Buster unit will not actually penetrate roof in the case that floor to roof clearance is in excess of 6.5 feet. Table-Top-a-Baum should never be placed on a table (1) used for dining; prolonged non-dining activities such as, but not limited to, bill-paying or extended conversations; or recreational activities such as, but not limited to, card playing or board games
; (2) within 5 linear feet of a heat source; (3) within reach of minors or pets; (4) with a history of tipping over; (5) less than 9 square feet in area; and/or (6) having less than three supporting legs. Available Table-Top-a-Baum colors are white, silver, and gold. Under no circumstances should you attempt to alter the color of your Table-Top-a-Baum.

*** or 30 days from time of purchase, whichever occurs first.

**** Colors are guaranteed to fade over time.

***** or 30 days from time of purchase, whichever occurs first.

****** Never look directly at "Scorchin' Santa II" or "Atomic Glow Clown." Do not view "Scorchin' Santa II" or "Atomic Glow Clown" through any optical device such as, but not limited to, a magnifying glass, telescope, or binoculars. These ornaments may be viewed relatively safely through number 14 welder's glass. If you cannot obtain welder's glass, use a small mirror to project an image of "Scorchin' Santa II" or "Atomic Glow Clown" onto a shaded wall for your viewing pleasure.

******* The envy of others is neither likely nor guaranteed.

******** Distribution of any "Happy Hallowthanxmas"™ image to more than a reasonable number of recipients as defined after the fact by EHA Industries, Inc. will result in ligitation.

********* Privacy disclosure. Your visit to this site is logged on our server and is traceable to the computer you are now using at this moment. Any such visit on your part will be construed as your having read, understood, and complied with all disclosures, warnings, and recommendations regarding Thanx-a-Baum standard models, Table-Top-a-Baum (all configurations), Thanx-a-Dex ornaments, and Thanx-a-Card products detailed in the section entitled "Important Information About Hallowthanxmas™ Products *********."

Copyright 2001-2017 by EHA Industries, Inc. Our legal agents search daily for deliberate or unintentional copyright and trademark violations of Eha Industries' intellectual and real properties rights. Eha Industries vigorously pursues legal remedy for all such violations. Reproduction in any perceptual or imperceptible form of this web page and/or its contents or any part thereof is strictly forbidden and subject to prosecution under any and all applicable local, state, federal, and international laws and treaties.


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